Owchie, Wah, Wah!!!

We started Ara's special day asking her what she wanted to do. When our kids have a birthday, we make sure they are treated like royalty. They get to sit in the prime seat in the car, they get to choose the activities for the day, and they get to do everything first. When you have a large family, it is difficult to make sure that everyone gets noticed and appreciated, so it is guaranteed that they do on their birthday.

Ara's activity of choice this fine 24th of June, was to go swimming. Where we live, everything is closed on Sunday, so it is difficult to find a quality place to swim on a Sunday. After searching the internet and deciding that Sandy is the place to be, we packed everyone up and headed to an indoor swimming pool. I put "indoor" because we didn't put any sunscreen on the kids for this very reason. We thought we would be indoors.

Apparently, in our area, places like to close early on Sunday too. When we got there it was still open, but we would only get to swim for a short amount of time. Out of desperation, we asked the desk clerk if they knew of another place that we could swim. HOORAY!!!!! They knew of a place that was just now opening and we could swim for the rest of the day. Sadly, when we got there we discovered it was an outdoor pool.

Tim and I looked around...it was overcast, the sun looked like it wanted to hide all day, so we took a risk and let the kids swim. Oh, it was so much fun!!!! The lessons the girls had were obviously showing and they were swimming around the pool like fish. Daddy was picking kids up and chucking them in the water and we were enjoying ourselves ever so much!!! Even Vega started to get in on the water play (she has an extreme fear of being in the deeper water and usually won't go much further than 2 feet in)! It was one of the best days ever!

Then we went home. That is when the burns started to appear. Shoulders, backs, chests and faces all red and swollen, as if we were lobsters just emerging from our boiling pot status and getting prepared to be eaten! It is so sad to witness the damage that could have easily been avoided if we only thought ahead just that one little bit further. My poor babies!! They were crying and moaning with every move they made. I felt so bad, at the same time I was suffering from burns of my own. Children wanted sympathy, but mama wanted space.

Luckily, this mama has a miracle cure for the sunburn blues! First I break out the after-sun gel. A soothing mixture of aloe and lidocaine that works miracles on a child's hot sunburn. Then, a delicious banana split! Not only does it take your mind off the pain, but it cools you down and puts you in a good mood, no matter who you are!!! Ara had an amazing birthday and the kids all ended up with some beautiful tans instead of burns. Thank you, my sunburn cure all, if it wasn't for you my kids would have woken up crying in pain, but instead...they woke up with smiles and anticipation for the next adventure we will be going on!!!

My Thoughts on Forgive and Forget

One of the things I teach my children is the capability and the importance of forgiveness. When I was five or six years old, I was sexually molested by a man that lived next door.  It stopped when we moved away from that home when I was seven. When I was eight years old, I was a product of sexual curiosity from someone that will forever remain nameless. When we were about nine my brother and I were mutual investigators of each other. When we were caught, my own father decided to join the club and treat my body like his personal piece of meat. I told school counsellors when I was 13 and it came to a stop.

 

I'm not telling you any of these things for you to feel sorry for me, only so you can understand where I am coming from. I have walked a long road of twisted thinking, low-self esteem and a seemingly lifetime full of turmoil and being scared. Imagining that any other child should have to endure any of the things that I experienced or did would tear me to pieces. My husband and I made a conscience decision to keep our children safe from predators. When our babies were born and our children began growing, we knew there would be a stand that we would have to take.

I don't have any problems with forgiveness. I can forgive every person in my life that ever hurt me. I can actually say that I am glad I went through every experience that I went through. It has made me the person that I am today. I am a strong mother of five-wonderfully strong, and independent-children. I am a student of psychology and my only desire is to help children learn how to accept what has happened to them and to turn it into strength. I love my husband, my family and my life, and I love my God that I believe has brought me to this point.

I can forgive a snake for being a snake, but that doesn't mean he will ever change, or that I should allow my children to play around him. When I don't want to come to family functions because my father is there it is not because of forgiveness or the lack thereof. It is because no matter how much I would love to forget, I can't. I can't forget about how scared I was that he would trap me in the bathroom after a shower. I can't forget about the way he would touch me or the smell of his breath. I will still to this very day fight off panic attacks because of some innocent way that my husband puts his hands on me that reminds me of some of the things that I had to endure when I was just a child. I cannot not now, nor will I ever forget how dirty and ugly I felt when my husband (then boyfriend) told me how perfect that I was. How much I felt like I was a big lie that he would one day discover and hate.

When Tim and I made the choice to keep our children safe, we knew people would be offended. We knew people would think it was because of hatred and the inability to forgive. You are wrong. It is the inability to forget. I don't want another child to ever go through what I have been through. I want predators past, present and future, to see that this will not be tolerated by me and my family. That we will not allow them to get near our children. Taking a stand is the message I give my children, both my boys and my girls, that I will do what it takes to protect them and they should do what it takes to stand up for what they believe in.

I don't expect to change the world, but if I can make a difference in just one person at a time then I know what I went through was for a cause. So if my family and I discreetly get up and leave a family function, or a BBQ at the park, you know it is because of the stand we have chosen to take to keep our children safe and to send a message out there that this is not tolerated by the Watt family. Out of respect for us, you can choose not to invite them, or you can tell us they will be there. Out of respect for you, we will never make a scene. Just know this... It will never be forgotten. The predator has a choice to make. He can choose to take the innocence away from a child and forever be known as a sex offender. The child doesn't get this same choice. The child is unable to choose to keep their innocence safe from the predator. They don't get the choice of staying clean and happy their whole life. Why forget, when you can make a stand.